Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Stitchery and Gaffes

It has been said that life is a great quilt of experiences, of joys and sorrows, and the thread of humanity binds us all together. This is one of the two most poignant quilting-related quotations that have been said. Lucille Ball, in all her wisdom, urged women to 'use a make-up table with everything close at hand and don't rush; otherwise you'll look like a patchwork quilt,' but that probably doesn't resonate as much. If careless cosmeticians would create a look that resembles any of the quilts in these pictures, though, there would probably be a few tearful ladies. For your viewing pleasure, here are some bedspreads and other quilts from Better Homes and Gardens' Stitchery and Crafts.

Here we have the sort of sparse, faceless bedroom that any child would love. Especially any child who would envy the fittings of hospital rooms and prison cells or are excited by signs on restroom doors. Basically, the design is a little creepy. I prefer the second project: 'platter' party supplies, including a tote for carrying records and a matching cushion to sit on.

This quaint children's room has an adorable circus theme. The bed linens and rug are bright and cute, and I believe there is a giant popcorn machine in the corner behind the photographer. The problem, however, is the horse's head. Regardless of whether the horse's head is right in your bed or just on a shelf of the bedside table, it's never a good sign. The living room in the bottom picture is far less scarring, luckily. Note the use of harvest yellow predating the wild popularity of the color by a few years.

I think the bold geometric pattern of this quilt and the vivid green wash of the walls (which looks as if it might glow in the dark) would cause sleeplessness and, possibly, eventual madness. The headboard looks like it was fashioned from a car seat.

The top photo shows one of the few quilt designs that could leave a positive impression on the reader. Amazingly, it looks like it's made of hundreds of sand dollars! Or, maybe, it was made of hundreds of potholders.

The thing about this bedchamber is that it clearly is supposed to be the most tasteful and luxe of their designs, a majestic room fit for a queen. But it only succeeds in being cheaply flamboyant. The pom-pom trim was a nice touch, though.


creative sandwich's lovely proprietors said...

What WERE they thinking ~ it's like these decorators were at the back of the line when taste was being handed out, eh? Several words come to mind: hideous, ridiculous, tasteless.
Wow ... just wow.

P.S. I love your blog!

Maria said...

Hi! Thank you so much! Tasteless?! Whatever do you mean? :-D There's a lot more to come, and, amazingly, I think it gets a bit worse than this, even!