Friday, October 30, 2009

Asylum Of Sardines

Sardines have long been considered the guilty pleasure of the pantry. Often found tucked behind more respectable shelf-stable fare like Treet, Manwich, and Vienna Sausages, sardines are becoming fashionable again. I read an article actually written this year touting the health benefits of sardines. Then I discovered this recent article from Woman's Day (December 1952) celebrating the thriftiness of the very same fish. I suppose there are few legitimate reasons to stay away from sardines now that they have been deemed good for the body and the pocketbook. So, honoring Curly Wurly's mission to provide timely and educational information, here's a bit of what you can do with your Maine Sardines (compliments of the aforementioned Woman's Day - December 1952 issue.)

Take your cue from the floating head: save loads of money on pizza by skipping the delivery and the freezer aisle! Maine Sardine Pizza is the healthy option you've been yearning. It may look like a slice of cake with a long worm on it, but it's wholesome and cost effective!

When I think of the concept of Found Money, I think of the joy of discovering a $20 bill in a pocket that hasn't been searched in years. Apparently, other people's hearts leap at saving a few cents on a stack of sardine cans. If the notion of sardines means delicious savings to you, here is a page of actual recipes from Woman's Day. I don't normally emphasize the recipes on Curly Wurly, but with dish names like Broiled Sardines with Puffy Sauce, how could I deny this information to my readers?

Get your Sardine-And-Mush Fry recipe here! Get your Sardines and Cabbage with Creamy Mustard Sauce recipe here! Get your indigestion right here!

And that, my dear readers, might be all the frights you need to get you right through Halloween!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Giant Blocks!

North Pole unemployment rates are at an all-time high, according to financial experts, and it has been reported that over 50% of Santa's workers, including his chief toymakers called elves, are scrambling for new jobs after mass lay-offs earlier in the year. So far, there is no consensus on how this will impact the coming holiday season, most notably in the customary dispersal of wrapped playthings. Worried parents are already fearing a backlash from their children. "Santa's double-checked list of good and bad kids is the only thing that keeps my family in line," one mother who would like to remain anonymous divulged to Curly Wurly. The worried mother added, 'if my kids discover that Santa might not even make it to our house this year, I'll have sheer anarchy on my hands!' Experts are already suggesting that it would be good to have a back-up plan in case Santa has to cut back his usual route this year. William E. Whitlock, director of Woman's Day Workshop, offers a plan for a versatile toy that will please every fussy Nancy and Teddy.

Giant Blocks are a miracle toy that just might have put the elves out of business had the failing economy not seen to that first. The blocks can be easily constructed by any handy person from just a few inexpensive materials. Giant Blocks are a patented light-weight cardboard construction that can be safely lifted by small children with only a slight chance of serious injury, but hidden reinforcement inside the blocks ensures it can hold the weight of a person up to 180 pounds! Whitlock will not explain how this can be, but these photos of Nancy and Teddy Whitlock hoisting and climbing on these Giant Blocks cannot be some kind of cruel hoax!

The versatility of Giant Blocks will not be denied. Since each block is hand decorated they can be customized to suit your own child's taste. In a Curly Wurly exclusive, we have a picture of Whitlock's prototype. As you can see, there are block designs for girls (pretty flowers), boys (the masculine 'bricklayers' design), and designs to please the Francophile in every family! Imaginative children can build rudimentary structures, like bartender sets, Japanese tunnels, and hospitals. Immobile vehicles, such as the airplane and the veterinarian's shuttle bus, can also be constructed. Despite the last picture showing a collapsing drawbridge, Whitlock insists that Giant Blocks are completely safe and probably will not lead to permanent injury or death. It seems as if the sky is truly the limit when it comes to Giant Blocks.

Below are photos of Mr. Whitlock's prototype of the Giant Blocks. If you are interested in giving your children a set of these bigger-than-life blocks this Christmas, contact Woman's Day Magazine (please cite issue December 1952) for Mr. Whitlock's plans.

(Note: Contacting Woman's Day will not yield further information on Giant Blocks!)

(Another note: Curly Wurly is officially on that new-fangled time-waster, Twitter. Feel free to follow if you like!)